PERFORMANCE: A Thursday Ride

FROM: The Cycling Journal Project

After riding today I feel, I don’t know what to think/feel. New territory on today’s ride. I had a big “hill work” yesterday – the Wednesday ride.

It was epic for me, as I allow myself to trust my “Olympic Athlete” aspect. In fact, it was the first time I had such a ride since my spiritual deconstruction began eight years ago. Damn! I’m slow to manifest. I cannot say, “learner” because I already always knew; I was just reluctant to allow, Trust.

Sad really, because I always had a great deal of gratitude for how my sports served me with regards to structuring and disciplining my life. But let’s face it: most of how I integrated the opportunity an athletic life afforded me, I just distorted with anxiety. I conjured up from what little self-worth I may have had to being able to say, “I trained today”, “what I trained that day”, and “how I trained that day”.

(Lots of debris being cleared as I embark on this project, this passion I have with sports).

Thursday feels a bit like a no man’s land in the training week (so let your Divinity take over! “No-man” – ha-ha!) What I mean is– after a big Wednesday Ride – clear what is Wednesdays’ purpose. Yet, prior to an active recovery ride – Friday? Friday, I know what that is; furthermore, Saturday is understood – the peak day of the week, a peak week this week/month! Again, clear. Monday, Tuesday – clear and much appreciated.

So, Thursday – what is it? I don’t want to overdo it after the midweek “hill work” on Wednesday. I surmised: why not make Thursday more like a Tuesday ride: not intense or aggressive, smart, take what the course gives you and choose gears wisely, without ego, attack nothing, saving it for Wednesday; just put the time/miles in to benefit the big picture but not take away from the big picture: Wednesday’s hill work, Saturday’s Peak, indeed, the whole building period of 3 to 4 weeks.

But it felt like maybe something more could or can happen on Thursday due to the recovery ride on Friday. My solution for now: spin more on Thursday – a spin day – high RPMs with a couple/a few higher-ish intervals.


After writing about my Thursday ride, I feel my Humanity sure gets comfy, nay – refuses to act if not for the ease brought on by a clear understanding and definition to endeavor on, with ease, the expectations and allow more. Paradox! I think my Divinity both appreciates and supports it! There is a feeling of Freedom, a focus too, from settling the mind with a clear purpose (more to come on that).


From: An open-ended Writing: Workshop One (6/20/2019)

The School of Performance Project at RAVEN

So, on the first day of Spring, I was on the ninth floor balcony, on the South FL Atlantic coast, at Le Chateau, reflecting on just that – how it felt. I am all about, have always been about, using as a barometer of my own connection with who I truly am: how I feel the seasons. So, one can imagine how displaced this Great Lakes Angel felt as seasons changed in South FL. Not only was I experiencing a dysfunctional common consciousness of epic proportions to deal with there, but the weather was not really serving much, what I prefer – on a daily, monthly, and seasonal basis.

Now, as Summer’s Eve, of day, looms, I am again content with the passing of time; I remember to grasp the passage of the season as just another experience of the same, eternal moment. (Can She? An interruption, but a valid one). Most, of what we call interruptions, are valid; of course, just some are more valid than others!

And how about interruptions in the experience of the athlete? I have had countless such experiences: injuries, falling off the wagon, succumbing to distractions/attachments/limited beliefs. If one were to watch a time-lapse film of my athletic career; in fact, one could observe life (an athletic lifestyle) as an ebb and flow of building – interruption – rebuilding. Namely, this is because I bought into said duality, and the balancing act that comes with it, for decades! Sport qua (as) life: Back then I reinforced my belief system daily, weekly, monthly, and seasonally.

Would that I had simply chosen what I preferred, simply that: How every moment is just another version of the same moment just experienced from another shift in energy. In other words, the athlete (in me) can then simply shift, as a good habit, to the version of that moment he prefers, or gain clarity, through contrast, from the version of the moment that he does not prefer. Most importantly, the athlete may honestly reflect on whatever limited belief is causing him to shift to an experience, through sport, that he does not prefer….

(15 minutes – time’s up!)

…. and here comes the rain again (another topic).

LOOP #2 (shortened for relevance) (6/23/2019)

After reading what I wrote about the performance project the other day I feel….

…. I am blown away by the idea of “one moment” being experienced in trillions of ways and variations as we shift, energetically, to experience said moment. Wow. It changes everything. I see it articulated more and more clearly, seamlessly, and with ease in my writing and teaching. I am enjoying the experience of full integration (of the divine and the human) and how it transforms my perspective …. of this same moment. For now, I like the poolside version toilet paper and canoe edition “later”.

(DING! Time’s up, 5 minutes)

ANOTHER #2 LOOP (3/26/2020)

( as I read)…. Holy sh#*, incredible content, the seasons juxtaposed with the ebb and flo of the athletic lifestyle / seasons. Wow. Brilliant, and it appears I wrote a loop to this – I shall read it now. Oh, but wait – more synchronicity (really, all your brilliance is! LOL) So pertinent to this whole corona virus shit going on right now.

After reading what I wrote, the #2 loop more reflected on the social media posting experience (left out above) than the content, though quantum physics was summarized nicely – more reflected on the ease of revealing clarity of late.

Specifically, I’s like to comment on “looking forward to full integration” (edited above) comment in the first #2 LOOP. Well, it’s done. Not since then or since anything else, but since I am already a fully integrated Enlightened Master, then what’s left but to experience fully, enlightenment, as a fully integrated human. Wow. New territory. Be sure not to attach any old rules. Enjoy your life. Oh, a delight to experience: offering schools with tools to help others to experience full integration with ease….

…. with ease through the art of PERFORMANCE:

  • art
  • performance arts
  • sports