FROM: The Cycling Journal Project
After riding today I feel, I don’t know what to think/feel. New territory on today’s ride. I had a big “hill work” yesterday – the Wednesday ride.
It was epic for me, as I allow myself to trust my “Olympic Athlete” aspect. In fact, it was the first time I had such a ride since my spiritual deconstruction began eight years ago. Damn! I’m slow to manifest. I cannot say, “learner” because I already always knew; I was just reluctant to allow, Trust.
Sad really, because I always had a great deal of gratitude for how my sports served me with regards to structuring and disciplining my life. But let’s face it: most of how I integrated the opportunity an athletic life afforded me, I just distorted with anxiety. I conjured up from what little self-worth I may have had to being able to say, “I trained today”, “what I trained that day”, and “how I trained that day”.
(Lots of debris being cleared as I embark on this project, this passion I have with sports).
Thursday feels a bit like a no man’s land in the training week (so let your Divinity take over! “No-man” – ha-ha!) What I mean is– after a big Wednesday Ride – clear what is Wednesdays’ purpose. Yet, prior to an active recovery ride – Friday? Friday, I know what that is; furthermore, Saturday is understood – the peak day of the week, a peak week this week/month! Again, clear. Monday, Tuesday – clear and much appreciated.
So, Thursday – what is it? I don’t want to overdo it after the midweek “hill work” on Wednesday. I surmised: why not make Thursday more like a Tuesday ride: not intense or aggressive, smart, take what the course gives you and choose gears wisely, without ego, attack nothing, saving it for Wednesday; just put the time/miles in to benefit the big picture but not take away from the big picture: Wednesday’s hill work, Saturday’s Peak, indeed, the whole building period of 3 to 4 weeks.
But it felt like maybe something more could or can happen on Thursday due to the recovery ride on Friday. My solution for now: spin more on Thursday – a spin day – high RPMs with a couple/a few higher-ish intervals.
Loop:
After writing about my Thursday ride, I feel my Humanity sure gets comfy, nay – refuses to act if not for the ease brought on by a clear understanding and definition to endeavor on, with ease, the expectations and allow more. Paradox! I think my Divinity both appreciates and supports it! There is a feeling of Freedom, a focus too, from settling the mind with a clear purpose (more to come on that).